Breaking down a word

WHAT IS A “COMMUNITY”?

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To understand what a community really is let’s look at its opposite for a second – isolation.

While isolation is necessary and in order to be a functioning part of a community one must understand how to be alone first.

But studies have shown the effects of loneliness. It is important not to confuse this with alone-ness. Loneliness and alone-ness are two very different things. And those suffering from loneliness, unpleasant isolation need a community to remind them about a life they may have forgotten – that you are never really alone.

Humans being social animals need company. We thrive in it – a herd mentality is one everyone may not agree with but it is one that takes you far. Let’s look at the phrase

“It takes a village to raise a child”

The African proverb signifies that with the support of all those present within the community. Different people take on different roles to help the child develop holistically.

While we may not be children anymore, we do not stop growing.

And if life experiences show you anything, it means you can choose your own family and create your own circumstances. You can choose your own village that helps you grow into the person you want to be. The village that helps you not just heal but also become the person you seek to be.

Since I can only speak for myself I started to think about what a community really means to me. And this is what I found:

You tend to rely on each other just as you would on your family. When you’re a stranger travelling through distant lands, this “community” becomes your family. Where you make mistakes and learn from each other. When you’re climbing down winding forest trails, it’s their hand you reach out to for support. They’re the ones that warn you if the branch is going to smack you. If you’ve left your wallet back home and need some money for town, they’re the people you call.

So when Google says community means:

“A group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.”

I find it rather incomplete. Sure we have at least one characteristic in common, we’re all travellers – strangers to everything we see.

There is always a first moment of remembrance, when you gaze upon a landscape fresh to your eyes. And you wonder how life will unfold in these lands. And well, it unfolds according to the people you meet. The experiences you share with them and the relationships you form, whether lifelong or transitory.

I never remember my first moment in the city I was born in but I do remember the first time I saw Jericó. A complete stranger with no knowledge about the town. I remember looking at the plaza in front of me with confusion as I got off the bus. But soon enough I found an anchor, I found people I could rely on. And when I felt lost with no linguistic or geographical knowledge of the place those people are where I would go to find a bit of familiarity and comfort in strange lands.

So it got a bit more confusing trying to define what a community really is and I really wondered if we were looking at the endless tunnel of trying to describe a feeling that words can really not describe.

I decided to see synonyms for “community” and they were:

“Centre, company, district, nation, neighbourhood, people, public, society, state, colony, commonality, commonwealth, hamlet, locality, populace, residents, territory, turf, body politic, general public, neck of the woods, stomping ground”

And they all somehow seemed to fit the feeling. Not to mention my favourite – stomping ground. Because apart from bringing a chuckle, it really does highlight the fact that a community is not always harmonious. It’s a living organism of itself made by living organisms. And just as a living organism has its ups and down as does the community which it makes. A community has conflicts, misunderstandings, but it also has resolutions and vulnerability. Where you open up to each other and let each other know about your fears and speak with honesty and vulnerability.

When you feel homesick you look to each other for support, cuddle with blankets and watch movies. Cook food from your culture to share with others and tell stories about places you’ve been before. You show them how you came to be who you are and when you’re accepted just as you are, that’s when you really feel like you’re in a community.

But it’s more than just the people that make a community, it’s also the birds singing in the morning giving you a soundtrack to life, it’s the tree branches that fall down too low and you always have to duck under, it’s also the sound of the river in the distance.

So when I had to describe what a community is at Riverside, I was at a loss of words.

COMMUNITY

SOCIETY

PEOPLE

NATION

Because no matter what I wrote down it still missed the essence, the feeling of really being able to describe what an experience over here is really like. Where you become each other’s anchor and family amongst green hills that have witnessed the passing of time and the flow of the river that has breathed life into this valley. With the birds that chirp for you when you can’t find your voice and the animals that love you exactly when you need it most.

A living organism made by living organisms, alive with the breath we all breathe into it as winds passing by the land, not meant to stay but meant to touch it with our own expression of life.